Airline Maintenance

Reported maintenance problems submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by the mechanics of QUANTAS, the only major airline that has never had an accident .

• Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
  Mechanic: Almost replaced left inside main
• Pilot: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
  Mechanic: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
• Pilot: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
  Mechanic: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
• Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
  Mechanic: Something tightened in cockpit.
• Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
  Mechanic: Live bugs on backorder.
• Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
  Mechanic: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
• Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
  Mechanic: Evidence removed.
• Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
  Mechanic: DME volume set to more believable level.
• Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
  Mechanic: That's what they're there for!
• Pilot: IFF inoperative.
  Mechanic: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
• Pilot: Suspected crack in windscreen.
  Mechanic: Suspect you're right.
• Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
  Mechanic: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
• Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
  Mechanic: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
• Pilot: Target radar hums.
  Mechanic: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
• Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
  Mechanic: Cat installed.